do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
