So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
be right there i have to get my cape
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize