Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
