i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
