Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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