if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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