Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
