Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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