no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
