It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize