so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
