there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize