he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
