if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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