The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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