these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Randomize
