We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
