you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
