look no pants
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
