We got so high we made milksteak
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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