I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
