All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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