I wannas sexs uuuuu
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
