They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
