To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize