just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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