I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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