I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you win again, gameday.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
