The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize