She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize