i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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