This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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