yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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