I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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