our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize