We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize