Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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