i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
