Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize