Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
