yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
