when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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