Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
