He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
