I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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