I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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