we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize