The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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