I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
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