Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Your cock deserves a montage
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
