One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
