I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
