I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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