Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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