Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
