you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
