is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
