we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
