He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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