So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize