Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
