The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
