he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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