I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize