I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize