That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
