drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
